Volunteering

I've been volunteering to tutor a six-year-old boy every Monday morning. His mother is a Vietnamese and he apparently has difficulty adapting to  primary school  life; that's why I was asked to help. Teaching him is no easy task at all. He literally resists learning, which seems odd to me. I thought kids love learning new stuff or at least they try to do what they're asked to so that they get praised. But this guy always says no at first even when I talk to him softly and nicely; later, when I put on a serious face, he finally reluctantly obeys and at the same time whines. He's not trying to get attention or something like that as far as I observe. He hates it and I can not, at all,  relate to the attitude. In retrospect, "bo po mo fo" is like installed in my brain since 2 or younger; but to him, it's so hard that he becomes impatient in less than 25 minutes. I don't complain so much to a teacher; at least not right in front of her!
I know I got to be more compassionate as he has a very different background from me. He probably didn't get the idea of the basic knowledge young enough and that's not his fault nor his parent's. From the experience, I realized many things that, after depressing me,  make me humble and thankful. I feel sincerely grateful for what my parents have provided me through out my life- the music classes, the English cram school, the fun vacations and most of all, their youth and love. Also, I am convinced that one shall not have kids before he/she's well-prepared, both financially and mentally. Raising a child is definitely not as simple as it looks. To give life to a baby and then educate him/her to become a descent person needs mental maturity and heart-full will and patience.

Atonement is a movie that I really like. The story tells about Robbie, Briony and her older sister Cecilia. Cecilia and Robbie were in love but with Cecilia not willing to admit her own affection for Robbie and Robbie’s low-class background, they went through a dramatic process to confess their feelings for each other. While everything seemed to have fallen into place that they could finally be together, Briony, who had always had a crush on Robbie accused him for a rape case out of jealousy, and from the moment on Briony had been seeking atonement. As a writer, she once wrote about the scene when she went to Cecilia’s to meet Robbie, who came back from World War II battlefield; Robbie did not forgive her and asked her to never show up again. Think this is the sad end of the story? No, the worst part was that Robbie never got the chance to return safely from France and Briony couldn’t even hear Robbie yell in fury, not to mention getting his forgiveness.

The plots themselves are heart-breaking and I feel blue every single time I watch it. But there’s more about this sad and successful movie. “Atonement” depicts the characters in such a detailed yet subtle way that I could understand why they did such things and even strike a chord. Cecilia’s high self-esteem stopped her from facing her affection because she was afraid Robbie didn’t love her - this is how I see it; so I can feel the pounding of her heart when she realized Robbie was crazy about her, too; she could finally stop ignoring the strong love. Also, the stupid mistake Robbie made(writing Cecilia a letter containing lewd and vulgar references) is what I consider inevitable when the feeling is really intense; actually, if I were Cecilia, it’d be overwhelming in a good way since the man I loved was so swept off his feet that he could hardly hide his emotion. As for Briony, she’s the one who I have most sympathy with. In fact, I think she was also a Scorpio like me. (astrological sign information not disclosed in the book nor movie though…) The jealousy was really strong because she liked Robbie so deeply, especially she was a little girl and little girls tend to figure that they have to possess everything they’re into. Cecilia for her was an idol she admired but also a rival over everything- parents’ love, people’s compliments and Robbie’s love. She knew there’s no way she won over Cecilia, her loving sister, who was so nice but seemed to be stealing everything from her. It was just unbearable to see Robbie falling in love with the perfect older sister, so Briony came up with the solution she regretted for the rest of her life.