56 up

"56up" is a marvelous British series filming several kids since they were 7 and continued every 7 years. In the 3 hour-long series, we see how the 56 year-olds are and have been doing. It's really something, watching their points of view changed as their faces did, their aspiring grew or dissipated and all the ups and downs of their lives rolled on in front of you. I regard this as a sharing of experience that I've been longing for. Since I was a child, I have been extremely aware of the passing of time. Sometimes I panicked with the thought that someday I'll have to die. Aging is horrifying to me. And the horror didn't ever go away. In fact, at 21, a phase where I'm confronting decision of future career, oftentimes I feel I can't ever find a way out. These people in the show, are glowing with wisdom, to me. All of them is not wealthy, politically powerful nor famous but almost all of them are satisfied with what they have. Almost all of them look happy. I noticed how content they look when it comes to friends and family and that kind of untie a knot in my heart. I guess that's how life is- you might bear a big dream in you, no matter how far you go with that dream, you have to learn to enjoy every minute and take in every scene of your life at last. Look around to see what you have and appreciate those. Nothing prepares you for life; only life prepares you for itself- as one of the participants said. I think that's absolutely true. I don't know what I'll encounter in the future and there's no use worrying. Now I've seen getting old isn't  that miserable, I believe with the cases I've seen I am now brave enough to set out to see what the world is like. Don't make myself regret and eventually I'll be looking back gratefully.

My BFFs

Friendship, as we know it, doesn't always start easily and that's especially true for me as I'm not used to reveal myself so much and making friends always takes time for me. Luckily, in college, I've made some very good friends.
Amanda is a happy girl and always brightens up people around her. We became familiar when she came upstairs to my room in the dorm with some chocolate because she heard I wasn't feeling well. She was so sweet and easy-going that I dropped off my guard quickly. In fact, I opened up to her in such  short time that I'm surprised myself. I told her how I don't like freshman life and she comforted me. She is always positive and encouraging; when she says she understands, I can tell from her eyes that she is really putting herself in my shoes rather than just pretending so that I'm contended. Talking to Amanda always calms me down and see the core of the problems and that's why I like being with her though she is busy and has a lot of things going on.
Abbie is another happy girl. She is petite and easy-going. Her thinking is often simple and straight-forward and that is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. "It's okay" is her motto I guess. Being with Abbie is so carefree and we spend a lot of time together.
Nina is yet another happy girl and she actually makes me laugh, a lot! She is funny, always mimicking and being drama-queen. She can also be very serious when we talk about relationships, future and other things. We even went to Mongolia together and the trip didn't break up but strengthened our friendship. We are as close as family and even though we don't stick together all day long, we always talk until we get thirsty every time we meet up. I'm so glad I encountered these extraordinary people when we are still young and innocent, and experienced the pure friendship.

Mother's day

I went home in Kaohsiung to celebrate mother's day with my family last weekend. It was a vacation I've waited for months and everything was wonderful.
I've been close to my aunt and her children since little; hence, I grew up like I had three siblings, including my brother and two cousins. My aunt has been the one who buys me beautiful clothes, delicious treats and takes me traveling since my dad and mom prefer stay in door and keep simple lifestyle. Growing up, I've loved to stay with my aunt, enjoying shopping, food and the company of my older and younger cousins. My older cousin, who is 8 years older than me has been my idol. She used to baby-sit me while I lived in my grandma's. I was 2 or 3 and when grandma was out, I shared her bed. Later on, when I was in elementary school, she became a teenager and I felt whatever she did was cool. I even argued with my mom that I wanted to go to the private middle school my cousin went to because I thought it's the best school. In fact, it wasn't really better and the tuition was higher so I ended up in a public middle school and did very well. I consider myself a very lucky girl as I have my mother, who is wise, contended with everything she has, and merciful; she has educated me to become a intelligent, kind and happy woman. Also, I have my aunt, who almost spoiled me but made me feel like the happiest little girl in the world. What's more, when it comes to "every girl wants a big sister", I have my cousin, who showed me how to be pretty, dress well and all that jazz. I grew up with loads of love and with that I have the ability to love, be loved, dream and take adventures. These women mean the whole world to me and made me who I am today.

Reading African-American literature

 Lately I've read two books about African-Americans；one was in Chinese(English bookname “Gathering of waters”   and the other was in English. Both stories based on the age of early 1900s when vlack people had already been freed from slavery yet still suffering from serious descrimination especially down in the south part of the USA and the stories took place in Missisipi. The two books were written in different styles, though they were both fictions. “Gathering of waters" foucused on the ghost of a whore who took over others' bodies to revenge on the men dumping her. She caused miseries along the way she went. At last, a kind, young black man was brutally torture and killed by her and the man's name was Emett Till, about whom John Lennon even wrote a song. Emett was from Califonia, where liberty of black was guaranteed and their spirits and bodies were free. But in the south, where he was visiting his family, white people still lived apart from the black; they scorned the black; the marriage or romance between black and white were unthinkable. The whole story was told by Mony, the town where the tragedy happened. He talked slow, and the words were well chosen, expressing slight but obvious sorrow. Gathering of the waters is what Missisipi means in Indian but at the same time,I think it also means the place is filled with tears for all sad incidents occurred. It's the kind of book which leaves you silent after finishing; I wonder how people could be so cruel and pathetic to be seerated by colors, I feel sorry for all people who suffered and are suffering from the ignorance and arrogance of others and I am ashamed that sometimes I know I am being the ones who think I'm born better than others.
"The help" was adapted to movie and I have seen it before reading. It's more enjoyable because its scene was bright and the story was encouraging and full of hope. A writer, Skeeter persuaded two maids into revealing their own stories and they made change beginning from a whisper. There was no killing in the story but the strength rooted in black women, the effort young white female dedicated to the liberty and the friendship among them.

At Javier's birthday party, Dylan brought Scrabble. They competed and Akeelah was very close to beating him but failed eventually. That day, she witnessed how much expectation and pressure Dylan's dad had on him.
Akeelah went to Dr. Larabee since she realized how intense the competition would be and she really needed help. Dr. Larabee found out her secret to spelling- rythm. He gave her a jump rope and trained her to constantly focus on jumping rope while a lot of noise disturbing. Akeelah got better and better under Larabee's special training. Instead of just memorizing big words, they started with essay-reading.
When they were on the stage of state spelling bee, Akeelah's mother showed up yelling. She was angry because Akeelah went behind her back. The principal and Dr. Larabee explained for Akeelah; and they made up after Akeelah promised to do double chore for the next three months. Javier also take part in helping Akeelah back to the stage in time.
To our surprise, Dr. Larabee refused to help Akeelah prepare for the national bee. Akeelah was confused; what made it worst is the increasing fame and popularity of Akeelah. Her best friend even stopped hanging out with her, which to her was devastating. Her wise mother encouraged her to continue; and with the help of the community, Akeelah was well-prepared. For some reason, Dr. Larabee decided to come back after talking to Akeelah about his daughter, who died.
The national bee was held in D.C. Akeelah fought to the last few. When Dylan and her were at the final round, she deliberately spelled a word wrong. She did that because she wanted Dylan to win so that his father would be satisfied. But Dylan said he didn't want to win unless she did it seriously. They competed to the last champion word and co-champed.


"Akeelah and the bee" is the kind of movie which makes you smile and feel good after watching. It's a inspiring and encouraging story, depicting some quite realistic issues like a black single mother raising four kids, the gap between the poor and the rich and the fact that success has some drawbacks, etc. But it also gives hope and tells story of people uniting for one goal and the infinite possibility of a person.

Volunteering

I've been volunteering to tutor a six-year-old boy every Monday morning. His mother is a Vietnamese and he apparently has difficulty adapting to  primary school  life; that's why I was asked to help. Teaching him is no easy task at all. He literally resists learning, which seems odd to me. I thought kids love learning new stuff or at least they try to do what they're asked to so that they get praised. But this guy always says no at first even when I talk to him softly and nicely; later, when I put on a serious face, he finally reluctantly obeys and at the same time whines. He's not trying to get attention or something like that as far as I observe. He hates it and I can not, at all,  relate to the attitude. In retrospect, "bo po mo fo" is like installed in my brain since 2 or younger; but to him, it's so hard that he becomes impatient in less than 25 minutes. I don't complain so much to a teacher; at least not right in front of her!
I know I got to be more compassionate as he has a very different background from me. He probably didn't get the idea of the basic knowledge young enough and that's not his fault nor his parent's. From the experience, I realized many things that, after depressing me,  make me humble and thankful. I feel sincerely grateful for what my parents have provided me through out my life- the music classes, the English cram school, the fun vacations and most of all, their youth and love. Also, I am convinced that one shall not have kids before he/she's well-prepared, both financially and mentally. Raising a child is definitely not as simple as it looks. To give life to a baby and then educate him/her to become a descent person needs mental maturity and heart-full will and patience.

Atonement is a movie that I really like. The story tells about Robbie, Briony and her older sister Cecilia. Cecilia and Robbie were in love but with Cecilia not willing to admit her own affection for Robbie and Robbie’s low-class background, they went through a dramatic process to confess their feelings for each other. While everything seemed to have fallen into place that they could finally be together, Briony, who had always had a crush on Robbie accused him for a rape case out of jealousy, and from the moment on Briony had been seeking atonement. As a writer, she once wrote about the scene when she went to Cecilia’s to meet Robbie, who came back from World War II battlefield; Robbie did not forgive her and asked her to never show up again. Think this is the sad end of the story? No, the worst part was that Robbie never got the chance to return safely from France and Briony couldn’t even hear Robbie yell in fury, not to mention getting his forgiveness.

The plots themselves are heart-breaking and I feel blue every single time I watch it. But there’s more about this sad and successful movie. “Atonement” depicts the characters in such a detailed yet subtle way that I could understand why they did such things and even strike a chord. Cecilia’s high self-esteem stopped her from facing her affection because she was afraid Robbie didn’t love her - this is how I see it; so I can feel the pounding of her heart when she realized Robbie was crazy about her, too; she could finally stop ignoring the strong love. Also, the stupid mistake Robbie made(writing Cecilia a letter containing lewd and vulgar references) is what I consider inevitable when the feeling is really intense; actually, if I were Cecilia, it’d be overwhelming in a good way since the man I loved was so swept off his feet that he could hardly hide his emotion. As for Briony, she’s the one who I have most sympathy with. In fact, I think she was also a Scorpio like me. (astrological sign information not disclosed in the book nor movie though…) The jealousy was really strong because she liked Robbie so deeply, especially she was a little girl and little girls tend to figure that they have to possess everything they’re into. Cecilia for her was an idol she admired but also a rival over everything- parents’ love, people’s compliments and Robbie’s love. She knew there’s no way she won over Cecilia, her loving sister, who was so nice but seemed to be stealing everything from her. It was just unbearable to see Robbie falling in love with the perfect older sister, so Briony came up with the solution she regretted for the rest of her life. 

Healthy lifestyle

I know many of my friends like to sleep until the afternoon especially on weekends, I used to do that, too but in fact, that kind of sleep just mess up our biological clocks and doesn’t soothe tiredness in any way. And more often the case is that before midterms and finals we stay up studying and after exams we go to karaoke the entire to celebrate- the week after that became a vicious circle of going to bed late again and waking up late again. Realizing how weak and I got after freshman year, I decided to put an end to this dreadful lifestyle. 

 When I go to bed late the night before, I still wake up at 8 or 9 rather than sleep for 10 or 12 hours. Then I have nutritious breakfast rich in protein and vitamin C, eggs, soy milk and some kiwis for example, these things would work better than those extra time of sleep to make me feel energetic again. After that, I do some reading or check e-mails sometimes I also work on assignments. Of course the breakfast doesn’t make me a king kong, in two to three hours I would be sleepy again, then I’d take a nap after lunch, when I go back to bed this time I only need no more than 1 hour and I can get up and go exercise. 

The magic about this method is the combination of nap and work-out. Nap according to research is effective because an hour of nap between 12~6 pm equals three hours sleep at night. And we are all aware that exercising boost circulation and metabolism what’s more it gives you high-quality sleep, so we shouldn’t stay inside when feeling lazy, on the contrary we need to go hiking, jogging or bicycling. And the last but not least, after taking a nice shower, that night I go to bed early, no later than twelve 30 to be exact. This way I can start a brand new day after 8-hour of sound sleep. An improvement tip for this schedule is to adopt it with roommates, my former roomies and I always slept so late as if we were competing for the best sleeper but it’s much easier in sophomore year, I tried to keep up with my roommates who have great lifestyle and fantastic skin that I yearned for.

Exchange plan

I’ve made up my mind to study abroad as an exchange student when I entered NCCU. My aspiration of exploring the world had formed since I was little but it was then just some naïve imagination of a little girl after seeing beautiful landscapes and sceneries on TV. Growing up, my interest in international affairs grew stronger and the crave as well. However, I also gradually realized the cruel truth that exploring the world costs a lot of money and that I can’t simply asked my parents for it and get it. To fulfill my dream, I have to count on myself. Luckily, NCCU OIC has been working on exchange programs and provides many opportunities for its students. In addition, the senior students in the department of diplomacy have no compulsory courses so we can plan the year as we wish. Through exchange program, the cost is cheaper since we only have to pay for the tuition of NCCU, compared to enrolling in German schools. Besides travelling Europe, I certainly have more plans for the year, though traveling is definitely the thing I look forward the most. The priority is to improve in German, which I have studied two years in NCCU. I believe I’ll have a lot of progress when exposed to the environment where I encounter German on daily basis. I will also take some English-taught courses in the university, which, I believe, will focus in management. Although management is quite different from what I’m studying in Taiwan, I’m convinced that it’s a very general and useful subject; it is very likely to benefit in some ways. 

Germany

Ich gehe nach Deutschland; it means I'm going to Germany. Yes, this August, I'll be leaving for Germany. I applied for the exchange student program of NCCU last semester and after working hard on TOEFL and the interview, I got the qualification of going to Karls International University in Karlsruhe, Germany.

Why Germany? A lot of people asked. This country first draw my attention when I was reading " The diary of Anne Frank". The horrible atrocity of Holocaust was beyond my imagination as a 10-year-old. Apparently, that didn't make a perfect first impression but it did brought me the interest in international affairs and later resulted in my decision of majoring in diplomacy. 

It wasn't until 2006 that I became fond of this country. When the FIFA world cup was held in Germany, I was 14 and beginning to enjoy watching soccer games. The first game that year was Germany versus Haiti. The German national team was filled with talented players. With the jerseys of black and white, they were so calm yet so precise just like the eagles, the icon symbolizing Germany. The team didn’t have a certain star player; instead, they had great team-work and shared the pride together; they were humble yet passionate. 

Dancing

I still got something to say about dancing, so I thought I could spend another 15 minutes on it.

I used to be lack of confidence and armed myself up when I met new people because of insecurity. Now in college, I found myself putting on smiles more, not judging people that much before I know them, and dare to show myself more. I'm not sure if growing older also contributed to the change, but I'm sure the turning point is the  dance classes in high school, which revived my dance gene. When I was dancing, I felt great about myself because I got a lot of compliment and I knew I was doing well, and that confidence expanded to all aspects of life. However, I don't call myself a dancer; to me, dancers are those who devote themselves in dancing and spend huge amount of time practicing. I am not willing to spend that much  time on it. I know it sounds contradictory, but dance can be very fun for me when I do it just for fun, but I become impatient if it become something that I have to do over and over again to achieve perfection, I just think there's more in life that I should also spend time on. I can watch dance videos on youtube whole day and feel like dancing whenever the music is right; dance is certainly my passion of life but I am no dancer, just someone enjoy dancing and always happy when dancing. 

Passion of life

    We wrote an essay last semester in class about our passion of life. In that essay, I wrote about travelling- taking in the different scenery, knowing people of variant culture and becoming aware of what kind of person I am, journeys always amaze me one way or another and it will always be a crucial part of my life. What I didn't write, but is as well what I can't life without is dancing.
    I've always love to dance. I danced to the TV commercial music since I could stand on my feet, according to my mom. Later in kindergarten, I took ballet classes for about a year; but as we all know, to excel in ballet takes hours and hours of practice and costs a lot, so I guess my mother decided I didn't have to take ballet anymore when I am older. It was not until high school that I started to take dancing seriously again. I went to the ballroom dance club at school and found out I was really good at dancing. The club was just a start, I was actually more interested in pop dancing like new jazz or hip hop than in ballroom dance. But the classes I took in the club and how naturally my body moved to the rhythm of the music and how I enjoyed dancing and watching myself dance made me so happy and confident.

Making Changes

I got my hairstyle changed during the vacation. It's now curly, puffier and shorter than before. I certainly love how it is not as straight and plain as it use to be; whatever I wear now, I have a complete look because my hair looks nice and polished. I got a lot of compliments when I came back to school and met people- there's no better way to start a new semester.
Before going to the salon, I spent much time thinking whether or not to make a change to the hair. I was afraid that the outcome wouldn't be satisfying. Hair does magic to one's appearance, but sometimes it can cause tragedy as well. Anyway, I stepped into the salon eventually and after two hours, I went home with a brand-new look.

What I really want to talk about is the courage to make changes. I'm definitely one of those who get all cozy in the comfort zone and often refuse to step out of it. I love my life and I like the way it is now-  this is what I said to defend myself. However, from the experience of changing hairstyle, I realized that when I refuse to make changes, I'm letting go a lot of possibilities. I may be letting of the opportunity to look better, to know more, to see the world in a totally different way, or even to become a better person. To be open-minded and try new things- the idea still sounds a little bit scary but now I'm aware that this is going to be the most important task for me through my entire life.